so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize