I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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