I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
