I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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