He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
