Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Even my vagina gasped.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
