Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
