no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I need to calm my uterus...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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