I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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