make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
As shirtless as possible
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
