I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
