So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
