True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
