i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
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