I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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