dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
