So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
