It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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