I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
