would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
