whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
