We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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