I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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