I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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