He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
