i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this just has baby written all over it
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
