He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Randomize
