he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
