Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
