i just had sex bonerless
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
