she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
