her vagine was all disorganized.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
