I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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