I cockslap morals
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
