Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize