Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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