I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize