everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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