I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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