We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize