just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
