Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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