so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
