You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
