I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
