We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
