It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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