Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
