I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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