I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
