I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
