I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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