Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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