All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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