i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
