Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
