I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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