okay pat passed out under dana's car
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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