Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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