Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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