when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
