do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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