Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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