I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I know her cup size but not her name....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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