I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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