How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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