Fuck appropriateness.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize