4 words: hood of his car
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
