Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
