Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
