theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is wine microwaveable?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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