brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
how drunk are you?
Several
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
