Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
