oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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