I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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