Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
