well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
