so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
